March 4–7, 2003 — This is why I will be leaving

I decided to take control of my finances this week by getting a new bank account. I’ve been frustrated with my current bank for a long time, and there is a grocery store near my house that offers no-fee banking; it seemed easy enough.

When I tried to sign up, I failed the credit check. (Keep in mind that this is a credit check for a no-fee bank account; I didn’t want a credit card or a loan or anything else.) The person signing me up carefully asked if I had ever been in trouble with the credit bureau. I said no, but I think he thought I was lying — I couldn’t stop smiling, amused by the ridiculousness of having credit so poor that I couldn’t give money to a bank for them to skim interest off of.

He gave me the phone number of a credit bureau. Knowing there was nothing I’d done to justify a bad credit rating, I was worried that someone might’ve stolen my identity and taken out a mortgage under my name (or something along those lines), so I ended up paying $14.50 to see my credit report online. (The alternative was sending photocopies of countless pieces of ID and a list of every address I’ve ever lived at [amongst many other things] to the credit bureau and then waiting several weeks to hear back from them.) My credit report was perfect: I’d never been late for a payment on my credit card, and no one had opened any accounts under my name without my knowledge.

I went back and told the people at the grocery store’s banking pavilion that my credit report was perfect and that their talk of problems with the credit bureau had worried me for no reason. They tried to sign me up again, and I was rejected again. They explained that if I hadn’t had a credit card for at least six months, I couldn’t be signed up. I told them that I had had a credit card for almost two years. They said that there might be other forces controlling my credit score and neither they nor I would ever be able to find out what they were. I paused, too stunned to reply; then I laughed, thanked them and left.

Somewhere nearby the feeling of helplessness brought on by not being able to open a bank account was the realization that I had applied for a bank account using an expired driver’s license as my secondary form of ID. (For the record, the representatives at the banking pavilion insisted that this wasn’t the reason I failed my credit check). I’ve since decided that I’m going to get my passport. This way I will be able to prove who I am without using expired forms of identification. Also, I will be able to flee the country on much less notice (using only land-based transportation, of course).

I even considered looking into renewing my driver’s license and taking whatever tests I need to take, but I ended up deciding that I’m in this for the long haul and that I will stay unlicensed. I’m looking forward to a life of public transportation, walking, biking and begging my friends to help me move.

Which brings me to my next announcement: I gave notice to my landlord, telling her that I would be leaving on May 1. I’m not sure where I’m going, but I will be moving. There has been talk of moving in with Jeff and Amy, but nothing is certain. I’ve talked to my parents, too, and they’ve agreed to begin taking some of my belongings back to Ottawa when they visit Toronto at Easter, just in case.

I’ve been stuck somewhere between excitement and terror for most of this week.

More recently, I’ve been bingeing on Oreo cookies and worrying. The cookies are much better than I remember them being; everything else is about the same.