June 13–15, 2002 — Don’t panic

So it turns out I’m the worst date ever, even when it’s just a date to go to a show with a friend.

I started the whole thing off by feeling plenty awkward about even going; it felt like I was inviting myself, even though that wasn’t really the case. Except that I was given an out when Trisha called early in the afternoon: she apparently didn’t think I had seemed enthusiastic enough about the show when she first invited me, and it seemed like I was inviting myself by not turning her down the second time. But when she called back at around 9:00 pm, I still ended up making my way downtown, awkwardness or no.

We met up and went to the show. Once there, I put Kleenex in my ears, not having access to real ear plugs. Then, after the first band finished, I took the Kleenex out of my ear so that I could hear what Trisha was saying while the next band got their equipment ready.

Then I realized that I hadn’t managed to remove all of the Kleenex from my right ear. I tried to pry it out, but I only pushed it further.

Then I started to get dizzy. I’m mostly deaf in my left ear, so not being able to hear properly in my right ear seemed to throw off my balance a bit. Then I started to feel lightheaded and almost fainted.

I knelt on the floor for awhile and then dragged myself to a wall and sat down. I hadn’t realized how much I’d been sweating, and my heart was beating a lot faster than usual.

Members of The Rapture had finished setting up and were about to start playing, but I couldn’t stay. I tapped Trisha on the shoulder and told her I would be back in a bit. Then I left in search of tweezers, hoping I’d be able to pry the Kleenex out of my ear.

I ended up going to two Shoppers Drug Mart locations only to find them both closed. I found a hospital, too, but I decided that it was a last resort and that I’d have to wait until after the show so that Trisha wouldn’t worry that I was dead.

I ended up going into a convenience store and asking the clerk if he sold tweezers. English wasn’t his first language, and he had no idea what I was talking about, but after some plucking-hair-from-hand gestures, he seemed to figure it out and he found some for me in an electronics kit behind the cash. I was very happy at the thought of not feeling dizzy anymore and felt desperate enough to forego any cleaning technique more advanced than a quick wipe-down before shoving the tweezers into my ear.

Customers kept coming into the convenience store as I stood at the front with tweezers jammed in my ear. After a few minutes, I got the tiny ball of tissue out and handed the tweezers back to the clerk, showing him the Kleenex and smiling in relief. I was very appreciative and offered to pay him something for his trouble, but he just asked me to spell out “tweezers” on a piece of paper so that he’d know the word for the next time some stupid kid with tissue lodged deep within his or her ear canal came into his store.

I went back to the show, but I couldn’t bring myself to push my way back to the front where Trisha was standing. The Rapture only played a thirty-minute set, and I only caught around fifteen minutes of it. But I liked what little I saw.

I tracked down Trisha afterward and told her about my adventures. Then I continued on my course as the worse person to go to shows with by making a delayed and unnecessarily awkward introduction. I was about ready to give up and acknowledge that I shouldn’t be allowed to spend time with people, but we went to get food anyway.

We eventually ended up at a party. I didn’t want to stay because it smelled like people getting high and because passersby kept offering me a drink. (Actually, I was only offered one drink, but I can only assume that it would’ve continued had I stayed a minute longer.) I offered to call it a night and to leave Trisha with her friends at the party, but she came along with me and we kept walking for a little while.

We each took the subway home, going our separate ways after reaching Spadina Station.

I suspect Trisha may be on the lookout for a better show friend; I’m not much of a replacement for Nathan, even on a temporary basis. She later clarified and told me that I don’t seem pathetic to her (that part had apparently been a joke), just a bit lovesick, maybe. She also claimed that the night was eventful if nothing else, and that she’d had fun. Either way, I’m feeling a bit socially incompetent at the moment.

In other news, Dave, Adam, Matt, and Nathan all arrived from Ottawa on Thursday. They were only in Toronto for the day because they (with the exception of Nathan and addition of Andrew) were going to a hardcore fest in Wilkes-Barre, PA, on Friday. We spent the Thursday record shopping and eating pizza twice and making buttons, though, and good times were had by all.

Everyone had left when I woke up the next day. I finished reading About A Boy during the afternoon, and then Nathan and Trisha visited for the night and got very drunk. I didn’t get to sleep until almost 4:00 am. It was a very strange night.

And then we’re back to where this entry started, so I think that mostly gets us caught up. I’m off to wonder whether or not I caused any permanent damage to my hearing with my stupidity last night. Wish me luck.