October 1-2, 2001 — New words for old desires

I'm still sick enough to lack the initiative to get much done. On Monday, I felt out of breath after my walk to the bank. (The bank is two blocks away.) I managed to get all my banking done ($800 in rent money looks like so much more when it's in cash), although I'm still a bit confused as to whether or not I can pay my credit card bill at a bank machine. The teller couldn't really speak English all that well, and I stuck to my policy of saying "What?" only once and then pretending to understand what the person is saying the second time around.

After my big outing of the day, Jeff called and invited Johnston and I to a pizza party. While I was there, nearly the entirety of Cuff The Duke called one at a time to ask what was going on with the artwork for their CD. That we still don't know where it's going to be printed makes things all the more complicated...

Tuesday was a bit more productive and I felt fine even after walking for twenty minutes to the subway station. I bought a day pass and made a list of things to do downtown and tried to finish up all the errands that had been building up.

While I was downtown, I passed HMV on Yonge Street and a German fellow came up to me and said, "Would you like to get in front of the camera?" in a thick accent. He had a pad full of applications, but I couldn't see what for. My imagination immediately went into overdrive, concentrating mostly on the unsavoury scenarios that his question might be in reference to.

As it turns out, they were handing out applications for U8TV. An antigreg feature in the making? I do need to get a job, as Jeff is so persistent in telling me. Maybe "U8TV applicant" is the career for me.

Anyway. After I'd finished up downtown, I went to the most wonderful place on earth. Or Home Depot, depending on where you're standing. While inside, you'll no doubt be going with the former.

I admit that the rumours are true and that I don't eat meat, drink coffee, or shop for hardware, power tools, or lumber on a regular basis, much less at 4:00 am on a Sunday night. But how can you not get excited knowing that Home Depot contains both a Harvey's and a Second Cup, and knowing that it never closes? It'll be load off my mind if I ever have to dispose of a body in the small hours of the morning. (I'm honestly tempted to go in at 3:00 am and to start asking which ball-peen hammer would best knock out teeth. Do you figure they have an associate that specializes in that sort of thing? They certainly ought to.)

I ended up buying a nine-dollar neon light for under my bed and a twenty-dollar wireless doorbell so that our friends would no longer have to call us to the door using telepathy alone. A successful trip, to be sure.

After arriving home, the long day combined with my general lack of good health to make me feel plenty exhausted. I paid my rent and called it a night, working myself to sleep as a vaguely eerie glow seeped out from beneath my bed.