April 29-may 13, 2001 — Exaggerated rumours of death (not necessarily mine)

I'm back in Ottawa.

Two weeks ago, I learned that my grandfather had died. The next day, I wrote the last exam of my (misguided) university career. The next week, I went to my grandfather's funeral, and I recovered from the week before. Somewhere in the middle, I read a lot of The Sandman graphic novels, spent time with Erika, and packed the vast majority of my earthly possessions.

And now I'm sitting in my tiny little room with two computers on my desk, two on the floor, one on my bed, and one on my bookshelf. If only that were enough to make me happy. (In reality, the one on the bed is having quite the opposite effect since I know that when I go to sleep, I will not be in the mood to try to move it and the dozens of wires that have been strewn across my bed in a day of computer upgrades and trying to make do and to get myself online as quickly as is possible.)

As you might have noticed, I haven't been able to write lately. I've a decent number of half-finished entries, but I could never get myself back into the mindset in which I began them, and I didn't feel right trying to finish them with a drastic change of tone. I had a lot of trouble dealing with distraction over the last few weeks of life in residence, and I couldn't get all that much in the way of coherent writing done.

But I feel better now.

A lot better.

I had a dream last night. The first that I'd remembered in a long time in any sort of detail. I didn't much want to return from it.

I also slept thirteen hours last night. I would feel great if not for the fact that being able to sleep again comes alongside being surrounded by things that I'm allergic to. But I'm home, and I guess that has to be worth something...

And speaking of home: over the last few weeks, this site hasn't felt much like my own. Maybe it's the lack of journals. Maybe it's the new people on the message board. Maybe I've forgotten how to run a Web page. In any case, I'm back in the mood to write and to code and to exist again, so there should be some changes in the coming weeks.

But for now, I'm going to sleep. I start work tomorrow, and I will be waking up to the screech of my alarm clock at 5:30 am each and every weekday until September. I'll probably be able to write a lengthier journal tomorrow, and I've almost finished the slogan archive script, so it could be online as soon as tomorrow, too.

Oh, and happy birthday, Amy. Here's a picture of four chairs on top of me on top of a bunk bed to brighten up your day:

But don't thank me, thank Jeff.

Until tomorrow, then...