December 30, 2000 — Wish I never saw sunshine

If I'd had my way, I'd only've been inconvenienced with consciousness for five hours today. But my sister decided to put together her bed, an act requiring substantial amounts of hammering and dropping things, and removing any hope of my being able to keep to my 7:00PM bed time. The only thing missing were my Ninja Turtles sheets (now in Toronto) to complete my transformation back into a 4-year-old.

I'm not sure why I was so tired today. I've been all over the place emotionally lately, and I'm more than a little bit panicked with all that I need to do before I go back to school a week from tomorrow. Despite being prone to panic attacks, I manage to just dwell in my overwhelming to-do list and try to organize in my mind how I can get it all finished and which nights I will or won't sleep.

I didn't watch any movies today; a definite change from the last few days. I did notice, though, in watching the last two or three movies on Thursday and Friday, that I'm looking at a lot of things differently. The little inflections actors might make or the look in their eyes before they kiss someone -- instead of taking it for granted that that's how it really is, I'm finding myself either remembering what that felt like for me or deciding that that's not how it really works. (Having reached the conclusion, of course, that with five days of having a girlfriend in the real world behind me, I must know all there is to know on the subject.) It makes movies more interesting, I think.

I find that if I write things when I'm feeling sick or depressed, I'll go back to them a few weeks later and realize how confusing my sentence structure was. Feeling like this seems to make me think that flowery sentences with useless clauses and digressions left and right are the way to go.

So about tomorrow, then. I'm most keen on finding out whether or not I'll need to change anything in my scripts when the years ticks into 2001. I suspect I'll end up spending the day adding credits to the lyrics on the Bran Van 3000 site (which I'd forgotten to do originally and was reminded to do by one of the people who should've been credited) and preparing a script to let me update the BV3 news page without logging onto the FTP server each time. It'll be fun. Or, at the very least, allow me to cross something off my to-do list.

Five hours behind schedule, I think it's time to go to sleep. As I typed that sentence, my sister came into my room while talking to someone on the phone and asked me who the girl I'd mentioned having a crush on in high school was. I've got to a) stop saying things like that in my journal without thinking about the consequences, and b) wonder what it is that makes my sister's friends think it's such a good idea to visit my site so regularly.

Until tomorrow, then. Be sure to write down the date a lot while it lasts; you don't know it now, but you're going to miss having a year with three zeroes in it. I know I will.