December 15-16, 2000 — Fog

This'll more than likely be my last journal before I board the train for Nova Scotia. I leave tomorrow at 3:05PM, and I've so much to do.

My mind feels like it's coated in white glue; everything feels distant. I've a headache and I keep forgetting things. I didn't sleep the night before I left for home and I didn't get a full night's sleep last night because I had to go shopping today.

Why go shopping on my one day off before I leave, you ask? This is where that bit that I mentioned about my forgetting things becomes nice foreshadowing.

Before I left for Ottawa, I separated my clothes: pants and nice tshirts into my suitcase, underwear and socks into my laundry bag.

I forgot my laundry bag.

I rule.

So, to summarize, as of this morning I had one pair of underwear to my name within a 5-hour drive of my current location. And the one pair that I did have was made of ugly green flannel; I only wear those boxer shorts when all my nicer pairs of boxer shorts are dirty. Fuck.

So I went underwear shopping. And given my ongoing problems of having large amounts of slush infiltrating the confines of my shoes, I decided that I should try to find a decent pair of shoes that didn't leak or give me blisters while I was at it.

When all was said and done, I had five new pairs of underwear and such a pair of shoes. They don't leak or give me blisters. But I could've probably done better in the looks department. (An ongoing theme in my life, of course. But we'll limit discussion to the shoes this time.) I restricted myself to the shoes that were on sale at Top of the World, the main skate store in downtown Ottawa, and ended up with few choices available in size 8.5 and without leather or suede on them. I ended up with a navy-blue pair of DC skate shoes, which would be fine if they weren't the first ever pair DC's made that actually conforms to the shape of the foot. So they ended up looking like a cross between a skate shoe and a running shoe. But did I mention that they don't leak? For the interested, the box for these "Kovar" shoes informs me that the "extra grippy" honeycomb pattern toe cap will improve my ollies. If only I owned a skateboard.

I brought my bag of antigreg pins on my trip downtown in case I ran into people that I knew. The only person I saw was Courtney, a girl (whose last name escapes me) that I'd met a couple of summers ago when I was still into the whole "rave" thing. Her hair was aqua- and pink-coloured. It actually looked pretty darn cool. So she got a pin.

It occurs to me now that I didn't bring any of my stickers back from Toronto with me, so I won't be able to bring any for Gillian, which kind of sucks. That I didn't bring any underwear sucks more, but whatever.

I know what you're thinking: what an awesome segue. And speaking of Gillian, I talked to her one the phone for a good 3 hours and a bit yesterday, and for awhile today as well. We're getting better at it, which makes Monday a lot less terrifying. And while for her it's another two days until I get there, for me it's less than a day until I'm on a train to Nova Scotia. Twenty-six hours of anticipation could be completely terrifying or maybe kinda not so bad. Updates to follow. Do trains have Internet access?

I'm very happy that I'm not flying or taking the bus. though. For some reason the train strikes me as a safer way to travel. (This in spite of having "Unbreakable" as one of the more recent movies I've seen in the theatre.) Being in a moving vehicle on a snowy road really scares me these days, and I've never been on a plane before and don't really want to start. On the way to Ottawa yesterday, with my dad driving, I'd get scared whenever I heard snow under the wheels or felt the car move even a little bit in a direction I hadn't expected for it to move. I tried to sleep through it, but I was rather tense for most of the trip. My fear of driving has gotten worse after a few months without cars. (For those who don't know me, this might make more sense to you if you keep in mind my two car accidents from last winter.)

But yes. Tomorrow begins the journey. I don't know when I'll be able to update my journal again. I'll let you know how it went as soon as I can. I'm staying for five days, which could either be far too long or far too short depending on how things work out. Keep your fingers crossed for the "far too short" option. Please?