December 5-6, 2000 — Getting fat and being emo

I was going to try to make this entry into a Seinfeld-ish journal in that everything would seem all over the place, but that would tie together in the end. But all I could think of was the fact that I've been drinking too many milkshakes lately (one as I type this, in fact), which will no doubt make me fat, which wouldn't allow me to be emo anymore because we all know emo kids are scrawny. Buddyhead says so with their tshirt sizing scheme (so it must be true): large is hardcore, medium is punk, small is emo, and extra-small is super-emo-wuss (or "girl"). And Buddyhead finally updated their site! You see how it all fits together?

I gave up that idea early in the conceptual stages and decided to just write a normal journal entry. It'll take a lot of effort to justify not studying for the rest of the night, and I'd hate to waste it on something I'm not even being paid for.

You may have noticed that I'm not posting anymore replies to the discussion in the last two days of journal replies. There's a reason for this: in antigreg, as in life, if there's no right answer, I try not to say anything at all. I think this is one of those times when nothing but silence will do.

This is doubtlessly a bad sign for my communication skills in general.

Funny story: so I was outside a bank and I remembered the trick I'd discovered when I was out with Jeff and Johnston before the Radiohead concert. It seems that the card scanners don't care what card you used so long as it had a magnetized strip, and I got into the ATM place using my residence keycard. (This is only useful for bums who want to sleep in an ATM kiosk -- fuck, I just used the word "kiosk" -- at night and only have a Coke Card, since you'd have to get your ATM card out to get money once you're inside, but it was still a fun thing to learn.) It was cold out today, so I decided to try this to get into a bank since I didn't want to go through my wallet outside. Little did I know, I was at the wrong door and it was a high-powered key-reading gizmo for an entire office building. And it erased my key.

So I had to go get it remagnetized when I got back to my residence building. I approached the university student working the desk and told him that my card was broken, assuming he'd just give me a new one after I showed him my student card and whatnot. But no: he checks mine, finds there is no data on it, and asks for my room number. And without asking for any ID (or even asking for my name), he recodes the card with my room number.

The moral of this story is that if you want to steal all my belongings, all you need to do is get a plain green card with a magnetized strip, look like a university student, and tell the nice fellow at the desk that you live in my room. The number of which I think I'll refrain from posting. For now.

And then there was yesterday.

I stayed up all night Monday studying for physics and nearly gave myself an aneurism worrying. I knew about 60% of the material, and only the easiest parts of that 60%. Luckily, at first glance anyways, that's what the test was. The vast majority of the questions were all OAC physics. I still don't know that I broke 70%, but I did one hell of a lot better than I would've done if the test had been anything like last year's (which I'd looked at online beforehand and would've managed about a 33% on). And for this I am glad.

Really, despite all my procrastination on everything that was due yesterday, most of it turned out quite well.

Tomorrow, on the other hand... I've a calculus exam that I know I won't find the energy to study enough for. I hate school.

And so today I woke up after almost 15 hours of sleep and wasted my afternoon watching Gladiator. Smart idea, huh? With an exam to study for the following day and little or no knowledge of the material... watching a movie that's over two-and-a-half hours long and then watching all the deleted scenes is the only thing that makes sense. Maybe tomorrow's exam will be as easy as yesterdays. It's my only chance.

I just read this journal over from the start to see if it was as completely brutal as I imagined. And it was. I can't string together half-decent sentences at the moment. And when my life's as boring as it is, it's all in the delivery. Which is turning out to be incredibly shitty today.

And on that note, I'll try to do better tomorrow. Although I make no promises given the fact that I'll be in a bad mood after my exam.

Make the hurting stop.

Dropping out of school is going to rule. I can't wait until I'm out of money in two years and have to move back home. Life kicks ass.