October 18, 2000 — Peer pressure

I wish I could say I'd done something cool like started drinking or smoking due to peer pressure, but instead all I've done is fallen off the boat on my ICQ boycott. I am a bad person.

Well, a bad person with something vaguely resembling an excuse. Emphasis on vaguely. So Gillian, the seldom-mentioned girl from Nova Scotia that I talk to fairly often and who I should probably mention more, is going to Europe on Monday. And she asked me very nicely if I could drop my ICQ boycott for the night. Now, I won't lie, I do miss talking to Gillian on ICQ, but I still feel guilty for breaking the boycott so quickly. It won't happen again, I swear.

The timing of this could probably be better, since Gillian posted earlier today saying that I ought to mention her more often in my journals. And I not only ended up doing that, but I also gave up my ICQ boycott. I'm too easily swayed, I guess. Draw your own conclusions.

University is as frustrating as ever. My lab person for chemistry didn't send me the email she sent to everyone else with the lab instructions, so I'm behind on that. And I've got a bit of physics work to do for tomorrow. But it's still very difficult to care.

I realize now how badly I needed to take some time off before university. I'm wondering if it's possible to take a leave of absence for a year and then to come back where you left off. I'll have to look into that, as I don't know whether or not I'll be able to make it through four more years of stress and biochemistry without just... stopping. I don't know that I could ever have a nervous breakdown; I think if I was going to have one, I would've long ago. But I think I'm going to reach a point where I won't be physically able to prepare for another chemistry lab or figure out the volume of my physics textbook, and I don't think I can last three more years without this happening. If university were more different from high school, I might be able to last it out, but it feels like I'm just picking up where I left off, and once I hit around the seventh year of working all summer and being frustrated with education for the rest of the year, I'm not sure I'll be able to take it anymore.

I'll try to stop whining about this after today, as I know that it must be getting very tiresome.

The BV3 site is going well. I'm back in contact with pretty much everyone from Grand Royal, and we're planning the contest to launch the site with. It's going to be fantastic.

Another boring entry for the ages. Why are you even reading this anymore?