My colour TV
Waking up on Sunday morning, we knew the worst of the tour was ahead of us. The trip from Toronto to Victoria had been spread over 14 days; the return trip was scheduled for six days.
We woke up early because we needed to be in Calgary that night. Calgary was about 12 hours away, and we could stay for free at Wayne’s aunt’s house before going to Saskatoon. We took a toll highway through the mountains; for $10, our drive was much faster and flatter than it had been going the other way.
I didn’t register the mountains anymore. I was too weary, too busy dreaming of my bed in Toronto. I knew I would miss seeing mountains, but I was no longer in a state to appreciate them.
Wayne was driving up a hill a few minutes outside of Golden, BC, when the van’s power steering died. We heard the belt pop off and rattle around inside the engine, and Wayne struggled to get the van off the road. We looked under the hood and saw that one of the gears was dangling at an awkward angle and had lost three of the four screws attaching it to the engine.
With so much weight in the van, there was no chance of making it through the mountains without power steering, and we weren’t sure that losing power steering wasn’t a sign of something more serious. We tried to call CAA, but Wayne’s cellphone was out of range.
After 20 minutes of discussing our options, it was decided that Wayne and Brad would start walking back to Golden and hope to reach an area with cellular service while Paul, Jeff and I guarded the van. Before Wayne and Brad began walking, though, a car pulled over and offered to drive them back to Golden; the driver was shocked that no one else had stopped to help us.
Jeff, Paul and I sat in the van. We weren’t very far off the road, so passing trucks caused the van to rock back and forth. I sat in the driver’s seat and remembered the time when I could drive.
Wayne and Brad returned; they had called CAA and a tow truck was on its way. Because tow trucks can only accommodate two passengers, the driver who had taken Wayne and Brad to Golden offered to take Paul, Jeff and me to Calgary, and we were quick to accept.
For the next few hours, I sat in the back seat of a PT Cruiser wishing I hadn’t drank so much water and counting down the kilometers to Calgary. The bad luck I brought with me wherever I went seemed to have overtaken our rescuers, though, and they were ticketed for speeding in Jasper. This stopped us for 20 minutes, and the rest of the trip to Calgary was at or below the speed limit. They dropped us off at a McDonald’s, and I scurried to the washroom while Jeff called for a cab.
The cab drive to Wayne’s aunt’s house should not have cost more than $10. The cab driver took us ten minutes out of the way before turning around again; the total came to almost $25, and I tipped him anyway.
We called Wayne and learned that CAA had been willing to tow the van to Canmore for free, but that it would’ve cost $300 to go to Calgary. They decided to stay in Canmore, and the tow truck driver recommended a garage and dropped the van in front.
I found an air mattress on the floor in the basement. My clothes, toothbrush, sleeping bag and pillow were in the van, so I slept under a blanket I found on a chair in the clothes I’d worn for two days.
I did not sleep well. Once Paul, Jeff and I were awake, we waited for Wayne to call. He eventually did, and the news meant that the show in Saskatoon was canceled: The van could be fixed, but they would need to have a part delivered from Calgary, and it wouldn’t arrive until the next morning.
Trapped in Calgary for a day and another night, we tried to make the most of it. We showered using antibacterial hand soap — the only soap we could find — and washed our only pairs of underwear and socks. We watched a lot of MuchMusic. Then we decided to visit downtown Calgary.
When we arrived in Calgary on May 4, it was not snowing. But mirroring our last visit, we woke up on May 5 and there was snow on the ground. When we walked around downtown Calgary, gusts of snow blew in our faces no matter which direction we faced. We went to a movie and then decided to return to Wayne’s aunt’s house. We became lost on confusing public transit routes and had to go back downtown and try again.
We found our way back and watched MuchMusic until we were tired enough to sleep.
Our rock-and-roll tour has turned into watching mediocre movies in Calgary. It is May 6 and still snowing, and it is 22°C in Winnipeg, the place we’re supposed to be tonight. I have worn the same clothes for four days, washing my socks and underwear once. Jeff, Paul and I are all in the same boat, throwing our one pair each of socks and underwear into the washer, unable to start our day until the dryer cycle ends.
Calgary feels like a sanitized version of Oshawa. We went to the Chinook Centre today for lunch and a movie. My sandwich cost $7.05 and was poorly made. My Dairy Queen Blizzard was inadequately blended, and all the brownie chunks were on the bottom. I asked Jeff if he thought Calgary was the word for hell in a forgotten language. Then we went to another movie.
If we are not out of here by tomorrow, I am going to spend the day trying to topple Calgary’s miniature version of the CN Tower. Jeff thinks I should be able to push it over on my own; failing that, Jeff, Paul and I should be able to manage if we work together. (And if there’s any project we’re still very excited to undertake as a team, it’s the destruction of Calgary’s landmarks.)
I have been in Wayne’s aunt’s house for so long that I can find light switches in dark rooms on the first try. I want to go home to my new room and learn where its light switch is. I don’t want to be here anymore.
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antigreg : other content : the albatross did follow...
1. “The albatross did follow...”
2. Jeff's tour journal
3. Twenty-two pictures with captions
4. Tour schedule